Talking About Tragedy

Like all of you, we were shocked, horrified, and deeply saddened by the events at Virginia Tech this week. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the community and all the families who were affected. It's hard to make sense out of a tragedy like this--and even harder to explain it to a child. Here are some simple tips on how to help your kids through a crisis.

* Focus on your children during this time. Tell them you love them and everything will be okay. Try to help them understand what has happened, keeping in mind their developmental level.

* Limit your child's television viewing of these events. If they must watch, watch with them for a brief time; then turn the set off. Don't sit mesmerized re-watching the same events over and over again.

* Make time to talk with your children. Remember if you do not talk to your children about this incident someone else will. Take some time and determine what you wish to say.

* Keep your explanations age-appropriate. Early elementary school children need brief, simple information that should be balanced with reassurances that their daily lives will not change. Upper elementary and early middle school children are more likely to ask questions about whether they truly are safe and what is being done at their school. They may need help separating reality from fantasy. Upper middle school and high school students will have strong and varying opinions about the causes of violence and threats to safety in schools and society. They should be encouraged to share suggestions about how to make school safer and how to prevent tragedies in society. They may want to do something to help the victims and affected community. For all children, encourage them to talk about their thoughts and feelings. Be a good listener!

For more tips on how to help your child deal, read the full story at Parents.com.

Comments

[AJ]

I have the cable news networks programmed out of my TV. I used to be a TV news junkie. If I was home, the TV was on. Then I had a baby and the TV went dark during my child's waking hours. I've become an online news junkie. It's liberating and educational by an order of magnitude. I wouldn't want to revert to consuming the single-mindedness of our national media when there's so much happening in the world that doesn't get told on television.

I have an almost-3-year-old, so there's nothing for me to explain about the V-Tech massacre. How would she know about it? At an older age, I think the user-solicited nature of the web will help moderate the emotional impact of a tragedy. TV news can be hypnotic, difficult to turn off, and then the violent imagery simply keeps coming at you. On the web, you have to choose to a greater degree to be exposed to the same thing over and over and over again.