Cupcake Wars

I live in New Jersey, where a number of school districts have been grappling with a pressing—and extremely divisive—issue:  Bringing birthday cupcakes to school.

Some school officials and PTA moms, rightly concerned about childhood obesity, feel that it’s better for kids to celebrate their special day with healthier snacks or even a non-edible treat like a pencil or a sticker. Others, also probably concerned about childhood obesity but maybe not as fanatically so, argue that banning cupcakes crosses the line. There’s been tons of debate and discussion wherever the issue has come up, with some towns vowing to stay sweet-treat free and others deciding to let ‘em eat cake.

"We're a kindergarten through sixth-grade district,” Linda Freda, a school official in the town of North Caldwell told the Newark Star Ledger after her district decided against a cupcake ban last week. "They can still have a birthday party. They're only kids once."

Why does this issue invoke such passion? According to a recent article in The New York Times, it's because of the symbolic value of these sugary treats. "In the modern age, the cupcake may be more American than apple pie — 'because nobody is baking apple pies,' according to Marion Nestle, a professor of nutrition at New York University, who is in favor limiting sweets in schools but admits that for many cupcakes can be "deal breakers."

Personally, I fall very firmly on the pro-cupcake side of this controversy.  As a mom, one of my favorite rituals when my kids were younger was baking a batch the night before their birthday and sending them into school the next day.  Eating those cupcakes —and countless those others made by other moms—hasn't turned my son or daughter into obese teens.  They're both thin, and fit, and healthy, and very nutrition minded, which I suspect has more to do with how we eat in our home not what they consumed at school.

Where do you stand on the cupcake wars? I’m eager to hear!

Comments

[John J. O'Sullivan™]

I'm pro-cupcake all the way. I think this is a ridiculously hyper-sensitive reaction to a genuine problem. Giving a kid a cupcake is entirely different than encouraging a bad dietary lifestyle.

If your kid is eating well most of the time, a special snack is all the more important to keep that mindset. Frankly, if I didn't have a "screwup day" every now and again, I'd go crazy. What makes kids any different? I think it involves (God forbid it) good parenting to teach kids what are "special" treats and what's daily fare.

Besides, I miss cupcake day. My favourite were the cupcakes that were made in wafer cones. Nom nom nom.

-j

[Annie]

If the school districts are so concerned about childhood obesity, the once-in-a-while cupcake shouldn't be their main concern. With only 25 kids per class, they'll likely have, what, 20 cupcakes over the course of the year?

I know it's unheard of, but maybe schools should focus their attention on... education? With a proper combination of health classes to educate kids on the dangers of junk foods and regularly scheduled gym classes, childhood obesity might not be such an issue. (By regularly scheduled, by the way, I don't mean 30 minutes once or twice a week.)

I think it's great that the school districts are expressing concern about this serious issue. And now I think it's time they took serious action.

[Emma]

I'm against bringing treats to school for the class and pro a non-edible treat.

Not because I'm against cupcakes, but rather I feel that it's not fair to children with allergies to be left out.

[Amy H]

We aren't even allowed to bring home-baked snacks to school here. In MINNESOTA. It's sad, but I understand the reasoning.

I have to say, though, that I don't much agree with the whole "bringing treats to school" tradition. When we were young, we were often too poor to bring treats and I was always one of the last kids in the class to have a birthday. I suppse home-baked cupcakes would solve that - at least a little bit, they would save you about $15 from buying them at the store. So, I guess, I'm Pro-Cupcake. If that makes any sense now.

[Brittany]

I think it will be a sad day the day our children can no longer bring cupcakes in for their birthday's.

No child that is obese has gotten that way from occasional birthday treats, but from day to day poor eating habits and too little activity. We shouldn't teach our kids that certain foods are 'bad' and make it into an emotional issue (i.e the kid feels bad for eating sweets which leads to low self esteem and further indulgence of treats), we should only teach that some foods are 'occasional foods' and what better occasion than a birthday?

[Astrid]

Except for cases with extreme allergies, I am absolutely PRO-CUPCAKE. My kids aren't in school yet, so I don't know what our school district's policy is, but I love to bake and hope that I can share that love with my kids' classes.

[Mom101]

This is what I think of as a high-class problem. Moms who are spending PTA time arguing the merits of cupcakes at birthday parties should consider themselves fortunate that this is the most pressing issue in their lives.

I mean, cupcakes!

Give me a break.

[vanessa]

I just sent my daughter to preschool today to celebrate her 3rd birthday with what I consider a perfect example of moderation: the mini cupcake!

[Cole's Mama]

It's rather ironic when you consider what most schools serve in their cafeterias. School lunches these days consist of chicken nuggets and the only "vegetable" on the tray is a serving of tater-tots. That doesn't even take into account the row of vending machines along the back wall. It's important that we teach our children healthy eating habits, and that includes schools. But maybe they shouldn't be going after the once-in-a-while celebratory cupcake, and should instead be looking at what they serve as a meal on a daily basis.

[Becky]

I agree with what many poster before me have said - if the school districts are truly concerned about the epidemic that is childhood obesity, they need to adjust their lunch menus and require phys ed on a regular schedule. I work in pediatrics and most overweight children I see tell me there is little to no physical activity at school and lunches consist primarily of fried foods.

Forbidding cupcakes (or any other sweet for that matter) only places a social/emotional sigma on the food that may lead to "secret" binge eating and feelings of guilt and low self esteem.

Okay, climbing off of my soapbox now ;-)

[Layla]

I'm pro-cupcake, too. I agree that "they are only kids once," so let them have some fun on their birthdays. Maybe limit it to one monthly party in the class to celebrate all that month's birthdays (I've heard of some schools doing this), but give them a darned cupcake, not carrot sticks and hummus on their birthday.

I've also heard of more and more districts not allowing homemade snacks to be served at school. I guess between cupcake fear and food allergies, the kids are soon going to be stuck with just cafeteria food!

[adrienne]

I'm personally of the opinion that cupcakes improve EVERY OCCASION except for long distance running.

BUT my mom is a teacher in a school with food issues- and there is an all-out birthday ban.

Obesity isn't the central issue. Parental oneupmanship made birthday celebrations escalate through the school year. The kids with May birthdays were practically getting catered meals. Some parents even bought McDonald's for everyone. Sounds great, eh? Well- it's not for the kids whose families can't keep up.

Allergies and other food issues (religious or ethical restrictions) problematize the matter. Peanut butter cookies? Holy cow. There was a high school student locally who knew she was allergic to peanuts but ate a peanutty chocolate bar to fit in. Her decision was fatal, but older kids want to fit in and younger kids don't always know what to avoid.

The AWESOME amaretto cupcake I ate last week could be fatal for my godson- and it looked like angelfood cake.

Diabetic kids almost always have to sit out treats.

My family chooses not to eat chocolate- how's that going to play in elementary school?

A Hindu friend ate a piece of cheese at a work gathering to find that the cheese included beef- not good. Some people aren't even aware that allergies or dietary guidelines might play a role in their child's classroom.

What about the summer birthday kids? Do they get to bring cupcakes? If so, when?

Cooking sanitation methods are really varied among families. There is a real possibility for illness from unsanitary kitchens.

Mental illness plays a role in some of these decisions too. I know of a student who had uncontrollable eating issues. The mainstreamed student was more than a binge eater- as a side effect of a mental illness the student would eat non-food items and food from the trash. Such behavior only caused conflict between student and teachers.

This corporation may be only looking at obesity issues- or it may just be looking for a polite way out of some additional sticky situations surrounding food.

I'm okay with not having birthday treats individually throughout the year.

One teacher I know threw an "Everybody's birthday party" on the first day of school. She had a sheet cake with everyone's name on it (including her own). It was a great icebreaker for the first day of school and it avoided a lot of the issues listed above.

Great. Now I'm hungry for cupcakes.

[Thrifty Karen]

I'm pro-cupcakes. Birthdays only happen once a year. Not all parents make cupcakes for their child's birthday and many birthdays fall in the summer. It isn't likely that your child will get more than 8 cupcakes during a whole school year, and I think that estimate is very generous. I've been a teacher for nearly 10 years and I probably haven't even had 25 cupcakes yet.

If they want to do something constructive, they should still be fighting about school lunches. I was told they had improved quite a bit, but apparently they haven't. I'm quite disappointed in the things I see on the lunch menu here.

Karen
www.thriftymommy.com
www.littlefunlittlelearning.blogspot.com

[Thrifty Karen]

Oops. Forgot to mention. Adrienne is right about the allergies and sanitation. Many schools have banned homemade foods from schools. All foods have to be store bought.

I was surprised that my daughter's preschool class was allowed to have peanut butter. The teacher told me they were allowed because no one in the class was allergic. Many schools and counties are banning peanut butter now.

[Heather]

pro-cupcake. seriously, it's a cupcake, not cocaine.

[Gina]

I'm conflicted. As a mother, I love the opprotunity to help my daughter bake cupcakes for her preschool class and see her beaming face when her friends enjoy her labors.

As a teacher with 19 students, and 24 more in the class next to mine, cupcakes have become a sugar epidemic in my school. As stated before, diabetes, allergies, religious diets, and dietary concerns are put aside for the sake of tradition, and who is left out? The child that cannot have a cupcake. Also, keep in mind these 43 birthdays are not always spread throughout the year. Many are in the same week or even the same day. Now add in special holidays such as Christmas/Hannukkah, Valentine's Day, Saint Patrick's... you get the idea. As parents would you like to hear that your child had two cupcakes for two birthdays and a few sweet treats for the holiday party in one day? Not me.

Parents at my school have also felt obligated to provide each child with goody bags, and sometimes even a bouncy house. So no, it isn't just a cupcake.

Because of this problem, my daughter and I have started baking mini cupcakes and special fruit salads and give out bubbles or stickers to her friends.

I have also met with the director of my school and asked to speak at our Back to School Night to discuss a way of scaling back the "stuff" that comes with the birthday parties and focus on the birthday child. There are many websites out there that show how to make the birthday boy or girl feel special without placing a cupcake in front of them. a good start is:
www.familyfun.com

[Elaine]

PLEASE - this stuff is getting ridiculous. If I can't bring cupcakes on my kids birthday - what's next?? Geez. The occasional treat doesn't make kids fat, constant bad eating does. Also, if PTA's are SO concerned about kid's diets then they need to focus on what is being offered to them in the cafeteria everyday, not what they get every now and again.

[Rebel Mom]

THE MINI CUPCAKE! YES! That's the obvious solution to this issue. Provided it's peanut free, of course, this small confection would allow school districts to retain this treasured ritual of childhood -- and would accommodate the complaints of those worried about too much sugar.

LET'S START A GRASSROOTS MOVEMENT: MINI CUPCAKES FOR ALL!

[NJ Bloggers]

I saw this on the news last week too and thought it was ridiculous. The mini cupcakes sounds like a much better idea.

[Bridget]

I agree about the mini cupcake idea - have been doing this myself for years even before school for my daughter started. Mini cupcakes have always been well received at playgroup (as well as mini muffins for morning playgroup). They are easier to hold, no wrappers needed, and offer a treat w/o it being the size of the child's head.

[Jamie]

If you are a parent in the NY/NJ area and are pro-cupcake, please contact me at 212-468-1772. I am working on a story for an Emmy-award winning show and would love to speak to you!
Thanks so much,
Jamie

[Jamie]

If you are a parent in the NY/NJ area and are pro-cupcake, please contact me at 212-468-1772. I am working on a story for an Emmy-award winning show and would love to speak to you!
Thanks so much,
Jamie

[Wendi]

Hey, I found a way to have my cupcake and eat it, too! Check out the most YUMMY cupcake t-shirt ever at www.blacksheepstyle.com - I wear mine every chance I can to show my support for cupcakes! I suggest every cupcake fan and every parent buy one of these shirts to show solidarity for the cupcake cause!

[Winnie]

I am against food treats in the classroom at parties. Not every child can eat them. It is torture for allergic kids to watch everyone else eat cupcake when they cannot. Unless each child is accommodated, the birthday ritual becomes a cruel exclusion. My kid has celiac and it's hard to hear how sad he is that he cannot celebrate with the others. His diet needs aren't considered by the parents bringing the treats. They just leave him out.

Sure I can send in a treat for some other kid's celebration. But should I have to? My child will still be the outcast sitting in the corner nibbling his own thing while the others eat frosted cupcakes. I think it should be all or none and unfortunately with food and allergies, it's hard to include everyone. Leave the food at home. Play a game, sing a song, do a craft instead.

[Dave]

The few children who have diet restrictions need to learn, as they have throughout history, that the world will not adapt to their restrictive needs; nor should the world feel that way.

Blanket policies never provide protection; every allergic child will be faced with other children bringing (whether given by the parent or simply taken by the child) candy, trail mix, packages of nuts, etc. These foods will be shared on the playground, while walking to and from school, and while riding the bus. Unless schools are going to strip-search each child and search each backpack, NOTHING can be truly banned.

Allergic children who have parents that act as if the world should accomodate them will end up being isolated from friends and social events. I certainly wouldn't want to invite such a child to my home, for a party or otherwise, for fear of having to deal with an overly demanding parent.

I want my children to understand the needs of the allergic child, but that does not mean that my child should also be so restricted.

It is odd that a parent of an allergic child feels that she shouldn't have to make an effort to come up with a replacement treat during a classroom celebration but is, instead, insistant that EVERYONE ELSE make the effort to change and adapt for them. They use the same rationale that is used by those who want to ban the Pledge of Allegiance, or to to not allow Harry Potter books in the library.

[Heather]

I am SO pro cupcake, although, has anyone read The Sneaky Chef or Deceptively Delicious? There are lots of ways to boost the nutritional value of cupcakes, EVEN THE FROSTING. Yum, yum. Muffins too, gotta love the muffins.

[susie homemaker]

School is not a place for individual birthday parties. The teacher can recognize the child's special day without having a treat fest.

A child with life threatening food allergies (or diabetes or celiac etc) needs to feel safe in his/her own classroom. The classroom is a place for inclusion and learning.

These kids already "get it". They know they are different. But the classroom is not the place to rub that in.

There are nicer ways to celebrate the special occasion -- extra recess time, making a giant birthday card or signing a birthday shirt, doing a special craft, visiting the office for a birthday surprise, announcing the names on the speaker, playing a game, donating a book to the library. Etc.

Studies are showing that tweens and teens take too many risks with their food allergies, often with dire consequences. The reason usually cited is "I was tired of being left out and just wanted to fit in with my peers".

At the early elementary age, the teachers must set a culture where these children are SAFE and INCLUDED.