Sibling Squabbles

Hey GoodyBloggers- we need your help for an upcoming article about sibling rivalry! We want to know what your kids fight about the most. Are their scuffles over the remote control? Who gets to pick the bedtime story? Let us know, and you could end up in the magazine! (Don't forget to leave your email address when you post your response so we can get in touch with you if we want to use your quote!) THANKS!

Photo via

Comments

[Rachel]

My kids look for reasons to fight. The most simple reason is over toys. If one kid has a toy, the other immediately wants it. Such is usually the reason my eldest starts fights. My youngest though, he really tries. Hard. His main goal and joy in life is to annoy his sister. She'll then push him, and of course it's the end of the world and he NEVER did anything wrong(insert eye roll here). They have a very classic older sister/little brother relationship.

[Andrea Reynolds]

When two of my sons were younger, they would fight over anything-literally. They once chased each other around the room over an imaginary plate of cookies. When the older one pretended to eat the cookies, the younger one melted into a ten minute crying fit.

[karen bermudez]

My two children ages 6 and 2 fight over everything. My daughter(6) doesn't want my son(2) to touch any of her stuff, because of course he will surely ruin it, and my son wants everything for himself. Whether it's his or not he wants it. My kids fight over who will sit where on the couch, what they will watch on t.v. and if there is a small task to be done such as turning off the t.v. my son has to do it, if my daughter already did it then my son will push her out of the way put the t.v. back on just to turn it off again.

[Amanda]

My two little guys, 5 and 1, fight over Thomas trains. The eldest, Brandon, has a vast collection of the motorized trains, and Matty, who just turned 1 last week, has decided that he they are his favorite too. The funny thing is that we'll give him other trains, James, or Percy, or even Lady or Diesel, and Matty will throw it on the floor and seek out Thomas. We even tried giving him Gordon the other day (same color, different number), and he knew better and threw him on the floor too!

[Shani]

At ages 3 and 1, my sons mainly fight over physical contact. As in, "Mom, the baby touched me, so I hit him."

[Mesheca]

My two sons 3 1/2 years and 16 months fight over my oldest sons bedroom. The little one loves to go in there (cooler toys and a train table) and the older one is always trying to keep him out. If he shuts the door or if I put the baby gate up, it's tantrum time. I try to respect my older son by not always making him have his little brother in his room, but no amount of distractions can ward off the tantrums by the little one.

[Sabrina]

My two oldest girls (7 and 4) fight over who gets to take the first shower on bath night. There is often a battle over who gets what character plate and cup at mealtimes.

[Ann Meythaler]

I have two girls- Emily is 4 1/2 and Kylie is 5 months. While Kylie doesn't fight (yet) her big sister will throw fits if any of her toys get slobbered on....OR if I tell Kylie that I love her, tell her she's beautiful, or call her a sweet pet name Emily will sulk unless I say the same thing to her. Emily has also recently confessed to hoping that Kylie grows up to be a boy so she won't steal her "Prince Charming" (aka: Daddy) from her!

[Heather]

My two oldest kids look at each other wrong and get into a fight(They are 9 and 5). A couple of classic lines I hear are "Mom, McKenna sticked her tongue at me...." or they draw an imaginary line and tell each other not to cross it. Of course my oldest will cross the line, just to bug her brother! Very annoying! The best line my little boy said was "I have an older sister and she is BERRY MEAN!". We had to remind him how he treats his younger sister. Hopefully they'll like each other someday!

[Jennifer C]

My girls are 2 and nearly 4. They will fight over anything! If the 2 year old even LOOKS at a toy - my older one "was playing with that". They fight over who can sit beside me. (Girls, Girls, I have TWO sides.) And the kicker is when they yell "YES, NO, YES, NO" at each other. Most of the time it is reference to nothing. Stop the madness!!!

[Sharon]

My 4 & 5 year old boys fight and torment each other over the most ridiculous things. Even their imganiations get into squabbles... here's example of how crazy it can get (2nd story in post) http://durhamfamily.blogdrive.com/archive/222.html

[Shannon]

I have a 4 year old daughter and a 5 1/2 year old daughter. Most often, they argue about who gets to be who when playing make-believe. They fight over who gets to be the mommy and who gets to be the kid. The ultimate insult is calling the other DADDY. Not that they don't adore their dad, but they are in that stage of life as little girls, that to suggest to them being anything but GIRLY is repugnant! My job day to day is being a full time referee. You can most often find me in my black & white's. It's my role in the game of life/make-believe!

[janell]

My children are 16,9 and 4 in age. Many other parents tell me how lucky I am to have them so far apart in age. Since they are so far apart in age then I dont have to deal with sibling rivalry. How wrong they are! There are still fights over things the other has, who had what first, among many other things. Sibling rivalry is just part of growing up in a family, it is a given regardless on age gaps between the children.

[Butrfly Garden]

My kids are 11 and 7. The #1 Bicker Causer in my house: Who's the boss? They both like to tell each other exactly what they should be doing or not doing. Our common response is, "You be in charge of YOU and no one else." But that obviously doesn't work too well since they do it 900 times a DAY.

:D
~Amy

[Deb - Mom of 3 Girls]

Hmm, maybe it should be what don't my kids fight about! :)

My two oldest are 20 months apart, so now that they're a bit older (almost 7 and just turned 5), they are pretty even in a lot of ways developmentally. Their biggest thing is to turn everything into a competition. Whether it's who gets their hair done first or whose milk is poured last - everything is about who is either first or last (and sometimes it changes without warning). They compete over everything - from brushing their teeth, to who gets in or out of the van first (or last). We've had to declare several 'competition-free' zones just to keep the peace. I don't get it - if they're going to both get their hair brushed, does it really matter whose hair is brushed first? Apparently it can cause the end of the world when your sister gets to go first (or is it last?). :)

[Susanne]

My girls are 5 and 2 and mostly fight over the obvious...toys. By that I mean who has a toy I want, who has my toy, whose toy can I just take....
But they also fight over who gets to sit in the front in the bathtub.
Who gets the purple cup at dinner.
Whose cup has more milk.
And my favorite...who gets to to hug Mommy tightest and longest!
What love!!

[Kris]

My middle 2 kids, ages 3 and 7, always want to take a bath together but fight each time over who gets the deep end of the tub. The water might be a millimeter deep on the the drain end but it's worth the battle to them!

[Jan]

My boys are Kyle (8) and Alex (5). Alex usually will start to cry when the Kyle decides he doesn't want to play with him anymore. They are actually great playmates, until the Kyle wants to stop and do something else by himself.
Alex also cries when he overhears me complementing Kyle on something. Alex will whine, "You hate me!" even though we have never told him that we hate him, don't really know where that comes from. I do try to complement him on something as well.
My favorite commercial regarding sibling rivalry is the one where two boys are splitting a peanut butter sandwich. The mom lets the one boy cut the sandwich in half, but then lets the other boy choose which half he would like.

[Kim]

They (5 and 3) fight over attention (from me). They also have a 1yo brother so it's a bit difficult to divide evenly or fairly all the time. Well, that's what I would want to do but they of course what the most out of the others.

Whether it's the who gets the blue plate, who turns the key to our PO box, who gets to take the bath first, who's older, smarter, can jump the highest, (come with me, sit next to me at dinner, pick out the book, play on the computer, play with that toy...) it's (i think) really all about who's in the limelight or feeling loved most in their eyes.

They don't realize how easy it would be really though and instead have to act out and around in circles we go.

My life. I love it as much as it drives me nuts.

[Kim]

My girls 4 and 2 can fight about most things, but most of the time its over who sits in my lap. I try to tell them I have two knees and they can both sit in my lap. No matter what one slides right into the middle and bumps the other off. Then there is lots of crying and hitting.

[Elizabeth]

My boys Chandler,7, and Val, 5, fight because Val is as big, if not bigger, than Chandler. So, when Chandler gets to do more (because he is older), Val gets mad. When we are in public and people think that they are twins, Chandler gets mad. Bickering starts and my husband and I have to break it up. Like most other kids, they also fight over toys.

I also have Allison who is 1. The boys fight over who gets to hold her, read to her, play with her, get her pajamas, etc. I don't get after them for this fighting, because it probably won't last long!!

[Miranda]

We've been blessed with four kids, three girls, ages five and a half, three and a half, two and a half and an 18 month old boy. All three of our girls will fight over who gets to play with my son's toys. These are the same girls who will watch Barbie and princess movies until I want to throw them away in a effort to preserve my sanity. They are the same girls who will engage in full-contact tug-of-war with the necklaces from my oldest's Pretty Pretty Princess game. They display the same fervor in hoarding my son's Tonka trucks and taking his plush sports balls away from him. I try to give each child a fair amount of time, but there are only so many hours in a day, you know?

[Kristin]

My boys are 7 and 2. The most common fight is over territory and possessions. If the 7 year old has it, the 2 year old wants it. It could be as simple as a marker to a full out battle over a toy or TV show. We have even had fights about teh color plate each one had! Some days it is enough to drive you insane (which is why I work!)

[Heather]

My daughters (6 & 8 fight over whatever they can. What to watch on TV, listen to on the CD player, what to read together, what's for dinner, who gets to feed the dogs, who gets to do the chores, who gets to go out the door first, who takes a shower first. I must say though, they are also the best of friends. Truly when one is sick one loves to take care of the other. Fights usually prevail though. They take care of one another as much as they fight with each other. They are only 18 months apart so it's not that easy I'm sure.

[Elizabeth]

My 2 Munchkinz (5 & 2) almost always fight over toys but lately they are fighting over who sits in daddy's lap, or who rides on daddy's shoulders or who daddy bathes first. The list of daddy needs is endless! They don't get really upset if they aren't daddy's first choice but they like to say nah, nah, na nah, nah Daddy picked me first! So now Daddy has to take turns and remember who he chooses so next time he can choose the other one!

[CPA Mom]

What DON'T they fight about? My daughter is 3 my son is 5. They fight over who gets to sit in the front of the tub ("by the waterfall!"), who gets out of the tub first, who picks out the beloved Dora book to read (even though they both get read to at the same time), who sits on my lap (they couldn't possibly both touch me at the same time), etc. It's all fighting, about 1/2 the time and then they turn around and I "catch" them hugging. *sigh*

[Jaimee]

My daughter, 5, likes to keep her bed neat. She only sleeps on one side of her full size bed and doesn't allow anyone to touch the other side, which is for her babies (stuffed bear, panda, puppy, etc.) Her brother, 7, sleeps on the bunk bed above her and likes to step on her bed when he comes down every morning. Needless to say, she fights with her brother daily about sitting or lying on her bed when he gets dressed.

[SJ]

Oh man, where do I start! I have two boys, a five year old and a 2 1/2 year old and they fight like crazy. ALL THE TIME. Over anything and everything from toys, books, food, Mommy & Daddy, who gets to go first, who gets more, who gets the bigger item (cup, plate, etc.). I think sometimes I live on a battlefield - WWIII perhaps?!

sjones1026(at)hotmail(dot)com

[Hope]

Our fights (between my 11 and 7 year old)most often quickly get too physical. So we first started to train our children to 'be kind'. Then we also realized there could be a need for them to be separated. We believed if we could give them the power to 'call space' (aka separate into different rooms if at all possible) then we might be able to avoid the fights. So now when I hear the tones of their voices changing into fight mode I quickly call out 'Either Be Kind or Call Space!' So far this has been working really well and the fighting is much less often.

[Hope]

Our fights (between my 11 and 7 year old)most often quickly get too physical. So we first started to train our children to 'be kind'. Then we also realized there could be a need for them to be separated. We believed if we could give them the power to 'call space' (aka separate into different rooms if at all possible) then we might be able to avoid the fights. So now when I hear the tones of their voices changing into fight mode I quickly call out 'Either Be Kind or Call Space!' So far this has been working really well and the fighting is much less often.

[Ashley Ladd]

My children fight over who gets to use the downstairs computer. They each think they have eminent domain and are more worthy than the others. They think life begins and ends in cyberspace. If they're not the one with the computer, then they think they should have control of the TV. That's only two items but three kids, so unless two agree on the TV or one's at her softball games, that leaves one very unhappy camper who needles the other two for their turn.

They also fight that it's not their turn to do the chores, or that it isn't "their" assigned chore. The 13 year old who is ADHD/ODD melts down on a daily basis which incites his older siblings to riot