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March 13, 2008

Spankin' New Headlines

News_image_newThe name game: If you choose a weird one, how will it affect your child’s life?  New York Times

Harry Potter fans, listen up! The 7th and last book will be split into two films because there was so much good stuff to work with. Yahoo! News

A scary fact: One in four teenage girls have at least one STD, according to new CDC data. USA Today

Pets can spread deadly MSRA infection.
MSNBC

How children handle their parents’ scandals. ABC News

Is your child studying engineering? There’s a new push in schools to start teaching the subject as early as kindergarten. Wall Street Journal

Original photo
via

March 06, 2008

Spankin' New Headlines

News_image_newWhy you should take the TV out of your kids’ bedrooms. New York Times

Men do more housework than ever before—and that may lead to more sex. Yahoo! News

Gym class may help girls do better in academic subjects.
USA Today

Keeping the chaos under control when you have multiples. Washington Post

Original photo via

October 18, 2007

Spankin' New Headlines

News_image_newWill drinking soda give your kids brittle bones? The Wall Street Journal

A father reflects on the dreaded sex talk. The Age

New website helps parents recognize autism red flags.
Chicago Tribune

A Portland, Maine middle school is making birth control pills available to students, following an outbreak of pregnancies. CNN

On the rise: The number of parents claiming religious reasons to get out of vaccinating their children. Yahoo! News

No cough and cold medication for kids under 6? An FDA panel is weighing a petition from pediatricians.
USA Today

Original photo via

September 13, 2007

Spankin' New Headlines

News_image_newA nightmare that disturbs the sleep of most new mothers. Chicago Sun-Times

Who knew? A treatable eye disorder mimics symptoms of ADHD.
NY Times

Skip work, have sex, and if your baby's born 9 months from today, you qualify for a prize! One catch, you must live in Ulyanovsk, Russia.
Yahoo! News

The worldwide childhood mortality rate is at a record low. BBC News

If your kids are off to school, but just virtually, they're part of a growing trend for K-12 students. USA Today

Original photo via

August 16, 2007

Is He Spongeworthy?

Today_sponge_pers_bkg_cmyk No more rationing sponges ala Seinfeld's Elaine Benes, ladies. The Today sponge is back on store shelves—and how cute is that box? Have you ever seen such hip marketing of a contraceptive? (Well, maybe that Yaz commercial where the hot chick in the dance club seems weirdly knowledgeable about birth control--until she reveals she's a doctor and it makes a bit more sense.)

In any case, why did Elaine need to decide whether her bfs were spongeworthy or not? Today sponges were taken off the market in 1995 because the plant that manufactured them failed to meet FDA standards (it had nothing to do with the safety of the sponge), so Elaine needed to make her final stash last. Luckily for all sponge devotees, the Today sponge was purchased by a new company, the manufacturing equipment was updated, and--voila!--a hormone-free, over-the-counter birth control for women that doesn't need to be hoarded for special occasions.

Just some health notes: the sponge has a failure rate of about 16%, does not protect against STDs, and is not recommended for women who've given birth within the past 6 weeks, who have their period, or who are allergic to Nonoxynol 9.

August 06, 2007

Banana-Fanna-Fo-Fanna ...

243834320_87c0358aeb_m Well, I see that Eddie Murphy has finally admitted paternity to the daughter of ex-turned-current Spice Girl Melanie "Scary Spice" Brown. I'm not so much interested in this celebrity drama and feuding as I am in the interesting coincidental cultural reference of the baby's name: Angel Iris Murphy Brown.

Now, I'm sure Ms. Scary didn't intend to name her daughter after the infamous Candice Bergen TV character, Murphy Brown, who stirred up quite a bit of controversy herself by having a baby out of wedlock in a high-profile way. (Dan Quayle, anyone?)

But, again, I'm not looking to comment on the moral or political implications of this naming coincidence. I'm a simple guy. (And it is Monday morning and I haven't even had the coffee yet.) I'm more intrigued by the actual name ... and others that tickle me in that crazy name game kind of way. So I was wondering if anybody knew of any other examples of this.

What are some of the wackiest, oddest, most unfortunate, or interesting name combinations that you know of? Any maiden name/married name combos for the kids that made you chuckle or take note? Ease us into the week with a smile and post your funnies here.

Photo via.

July 06, 2007

Not the Breast of Ideas

604793693_fef4df98be_m To the kids, it may have been the Best. Party. Ever. But to the parents, it was a little hard to stomach.

My 11-year-old nephew was invited to a pool party recently with a bunch of other 11-year-olds. Splish splash. Fun, fun. The parents of the kid who were hosting had informed all of the other parents that they'd take the kids out to eat afterwards. Not a problem, right?

P.S.: The restaurant was Hooters.

Now, I fancy myself a pretty liberal guy, but Hooters? Really?? For a group of 11-year-olds?!? Really?!?! Especially given the fact that none of the other parents were told what the restaurant was going to be. I'm sure this left some of them hotter than a buffalo wing. If they'd at least been told about the choice of eatery, that would've given them the chance to raise the issue of maybe bringing the kids to a more family-friendly establishment. You know, to one where the waitstaff wears, oh, I don't know, a hygienically-conscious length of pant? (Just a suggestion.)

My nephew, at 11, even knew Hooters was an inappropriate choice, given that he sheepishly told my brother and sister-and-law where they went, as if he were the one who'd done something wrong. And when I nonchalantly asked him how his party was, he just giggled. So if an 11-year-old is smart enough to see the inappropriateness of the situation, you'd have to be a complete … well, boob … not to know better yourself as an adult. I mean, would anyone bring a group of 11-year-old girls to a restaurant with shirtless Chippendale waiters? I mean, good Lord! Where would they even put their name tags?

Am I being being too hard on this parent? Too conservative? Am I overreacting? What would you do if your 11-year-old came home and told you this news … with a coy smile and a gallon of hot wing sauce on his face? Would you say something to the kid's parents? To your kid? Let us know.

Photo via.

June 05, 2007

Spankin' New Headlines

NewsstandA scary new trend: the birthrate of boys is falling. Washington Post

Does Amy Sohn’s toddler watch too much TV? The writer and her husband completely disagree.
NY Magazine

Fly me to summer camp (on a private jet).
NY Post

To start kindergarten or to wait a year? An age-old question.
NY Times

Japan scientists develop a creepy child robot. Yomiuri Shimbun

April 17, 2007

I've Got the Music In Me ...

283320577_163b80b2f9_m I'm a huge music fan, and it's always a crap shoot when an artist writes and/or performs a song inspired by parenthood. It's a tricky subject matter to cover without getting too gooey, you know? But then again, you pop this puppy out (and it probably hurt if you were the mother), so who says you can't get a little über emotional over your very own Mini Me?

Either way, I submit to you my official top ten list of favorite songs written for or about kids. Think I got some wrong? Left something off? Included a clunker? Let me know. But be nice. This list is my baby. And, yes, it did hurt getting it all out ...

10. Adrian Belew's "Oh, Daddy" A fun little tune about a dad's discussion on music biz fame and success with his little girl, who provides adorable guest vocals on the track. Favorite lyric: Oh daddy, when you gonna write that big hit? Oh daddy, when you gonna hit it real big, real big? Well, now that's a tall request for such a small little girl, but I'll try, try, till I get it just right.

9. Madonna's "Little Star": Oh, Lourdes! The Material Girl turns Maternal Mama with this dreamy ditty with a light electronic edge. Think of an audible version of blowing bubbles with your baby! Favorite lyric: May the angels protect you, and sadness forget you, little star.

8. Eros Ramazzotti's "Per Me Per Sempre": Va bene. You've probably never heard of this Italian pop singer, but you don't even have to capisci Italian to melt over this lullaby he sings to his daughter. Believe me, that's amore! Favorite lyric: Infiniti voli del cuore, infinita felicità, quando penso che tu sei, per me ... per sempre. Which loosely translates to "Endless flights of the heart, endless happiness, when I think that you're mine, forever."

7. The Dixie Chicks' "Lullaby": Simple. Elegant. Haunting. And sweet. All at the same time. These three mommies are definitely ready to make night-night with this entrancing modern soother. Favorite lyric: Tomorrow there'll be so much to do, so tonight I'll drift in a dream with you. How long do you want to be loved? Is forever enough?

6. Harry Chapin's "Cat's In the Cradle": If any guy you know switches the station when this song comes on in the car because he says he doesn't like it, don't believe him for a nanosecond. You have my permission to call his sorry butt out on it: He just doesn't want you to see him cry. Favorite lyric (or, the one that requires the most hankies): "When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when, but we'll get together then, dad. You know we'll have a good time then." Trivia: The song was actually penned by Harry's wife, Sandy, a poet, who wrote it about her first husband's distant relationship with his father. Upon initially hearing the poem, Harry wasn't impressed. In spite of that fact, Harry and Sandy still went on and had their first child ... but not until more than a year later.

5. Sade's "The Sweetest Gift": It's about time this sultry singer (a female Johnny Mathis, if you will) paid the public back. Her sexy songs have no doubt led to some baby makin' over the years, so why not complete the circle and give her fans a beautiful song about the magical love of parenthood? Favorite lyric: Quietly while you were asleep, the moon and I were talking. I asked that she'd always keep you protected.

4. Cyndi Lauper's "Above the Clouds": Another 80s pop diva turned cool mom. ("She Bop" meets "She Burp". Too much?) This song, inspired by her son Declyn, passes down the one-of-a-kind singer's keen sense of individuality. Favorite lyric: Stand tall, and glide, when you're all alone in the crowd. Don't fall. Don't hide. When you walk above the clouds."

3. LeeAnn Womack's "I Hope You Dance": A crossover country song with a killer hook and soaring chorus. It's a guide to life's hard lessons, given from a parent to a child. When my niece was born, I gave the CD single and lyrics to everyone in my family. And we all cried. My niece is now 6 and, yes, she loves to dance. And every time she does, we all still cry. (I'm half Italian. So sue us.) Favorite lyric: Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter. When you come close to selling out, reconsider.

2. Radney Foster's "Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)": After this Texas based singer-songwriter and his wife divorced, she moved to Paris with their young son. Foster penned this heartbreaking lullaby for the little guy so that he could play it whenever he missed his father, who couldn't be there to tuck him in at night. This tune's a shot of southern discomfort, and boy does it burn going down. Favorite lyric: God bless mommy and match box cars. God bless dad, and thanks for the stars. God hears amen wherever we are, and I love you. Godspeed, little man. Sweet dreams, little man.

And now, to change the mood completely and to finally reveal the meaning behind the bulldog-in-a-baby-carriage photo, my all-time favorite song about or inspired by kids is ...

1. Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty's "You're the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly": Loretta Lynn is tops on my list of everything, just so y'all know. (Favorite hair? Yup. Favorite roasted 'possum recipe? Yes ma'am!!) And this song is definitely one of her funniest. The banter at the end between her and Conway is hysterical. It's like a Hee Haw sketch in the middle of a song. In a good way. Favorite lyric: You're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'. Ah, but looks ain't ev'rythin', and money ain't ev'rythin', but I love you just the same. I guess that we won't ever have everything we need, 'cause when we get ahead, it's got another mouth to feed.

If you're out there reading this somewhere, Loretta, I love you. And you're more than welcome to write for us anytime. You'll be the reason our blog is funny.

April 05, 2007

Spankin' New Headlines

NewsstandShedding a little bit of light on the scary subject of autism: Two new studies find that children who fail to respond to their own names by age 1 may be at risk for the disorder. Yahoo! News 

Jane E. Brody on the importance of unfettered play and the dumbing down of playgrounds in the name of safety. NY Times

A Swedish couple locked in a court battle over their right to name their 6-month-old daughter “Metallica.” Yahoo! News 

This news story probably makes your 5th grader look like an angel. Read on if you dare. CNN

Educational toys and programs may not make babies smarter, says a Washington think tank report. USA Today

The Robert Wood Johnson foundation pledges $500 million dollars to fight childhood obesity. NY Times


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